Zona news.

This is fun. i love having a blog with you girls. of course britty, fucking get with the program yo! hahaha

so lala, i think everyone's gay and retarded. and i know that's completely NOT politically correct, but you know what i mean, every form of stupid there is. the job market sucks and you're either over qualified or your underqualified b/c you haven't had a real job yet, but how are you supposed to have a real job if no one will give you your first?! just keep trying babe. that's all you can do. take some hits, absorb them and turn them into experiences in interviewing and job searching. you'll get something and one day you'll have that job you've been searching for since the beginning. its just the steps of life i think. and its hard.

so its 1015. i should be going to bed seeing as i'm always tired and have to wake up at 5am. but oh well. i chose to blog yall and rock out to some carrie underwood. i love her. but you guys know that! hahaha shit i'm also supposed to be folding my clothes and hanging up my uniforms, but oh well. no point in starting productivity this late in the weekend. let's see what i can add. i made a 94 on that test that was supposed to kick our asses. i got a GO (as opposed to a No Go, which is a fail and do it all over again) on my brief with my retard rocket group members. i got sidetracked by my anger that they sucked so much, that i wasn't nervous and i just briefed the info that they screwed up so that none of us failed it. the only thing that didn't go the way i wanted it to...was my 12 mile ruck this past friday night. i've been sick and i have really old boots...so my feet were torn to shit after mile 6.5 and i started to have shallower and shallower breathing by mile 7.5, my sergeant stopped the follow truck and made me drop my 35lb ruck and weapon and helmet in the back of it and made me get in the truck. moral of the story, i didn't finish. i only made 8 miles, which is still a lot, but didn't do the job and didn't complete the grad requirement. they told me not to do it in the first place b/c i'm on a profile to not do fitness training for 7 days b/c of my sickness, but i told them i had to try. and i did. so that's that. i'll just have to do it again in a month or so. i'm pissed and disappointed, but shit happens. i guess its good i made it 8 miles and proved a point to my classmates and head officers. i did pass phase 2 of 4 here at school, we're moving in phase 3 and i only have 2 months left here! i'm pretty stoked about that!

other news i think i forgot to mention. when chris visited last weekend...well i guess its 2 weekends ago now...we took a big step and said "i love you" to each other. surprisingly enough it wasn't too fast for me. it might seem that way, but i dont know, i just felt it. and i'm a great believer, as you know, that if i feel something i might as well say it b/c sometimes the moment is fleeting and you regret you didn't say something at that right time when it was there. he's a wonderful guy and i'm extremely lucky to have met him. and i found myself almost saying it to him several times before on the phone, but i wanted to make sure it was right and i didn't want our first "i love you" to be over the phone. so when he came to visit, that first night after we got back from the airport, we were just sitting there on my bed, talking, and he asked me out of the blue if i loved him and i said, actually-yeah i do. haha and he was said good, b/c i love you too and i've wanted to tell you for a while now. and i said, i'd wanted to say the same thing, but i wanted to say it in person. he said that's why he'd waited too. i've never been in love before, nor never felt this way about a boy before...idk. man i really want to wait for the book to come before i write anymore. hahaha, this whole thing is so huge for me...it should be in writing forever. haha ok i'll just leave it there. i'll write everything else i'm thinking and feeling in the book. hahaha

i should really get to bed. i dont want to though. i want to tell you everything i've been thinking and feeling and missing about you guys and life RIGHT NOW!!! but i guess i should wait for sometimes when its not this late at night ; ) haha

i love you all very much. dont you all ever forget that! crot make sure you send me your new addy when you get it. you take care of yourself and your arm! lala, you keep your head up and your eyes open...the right job's coming along soon. prom promise! britty. please get on here and write. i know you're job searching always and wanting to be back in england and saving animals lives daily :) share it with us!!

all my love, loves. you're in my mind and heart, always.